When you’ve experienced cancer, loving your body can feel complicated. As a 17-year breast cancer survivor with reconstruction, then explantation.. and now a new (44 year old) mom, I know this firsthand.
Your body goes through changes. It looks different. It feels different. And sometimes, most times, it may not respond the way it used to. That can be frustrating, emotional, and even disorienting.
Looking at scars, stretch marks, port pokes, radiation burns and more, can bring back emotion. It can make you remember events you don't want to reflect on.
But one of the most important “Cancer Hacks” I’ve learned over the years is this:
Love your body just as it is. Right now.
Your body is like a beat up old car. And it happens to everyone.
Let's face it. You have been through a lot. Whether it's surgeries, cancer treatments, hair loss, hair growth, radiation, immunotherapy, or more - the biggest thing you have endured is stress. So yes, your body might have some dents.
The paint might not be perfect anymore.
It may not run exactly like it used to.
But if your body is allowing you to breathe, is still getting you to where you need to go, take a moment and honor it.
Your body - and your mind - have been through so much. But it's still showing up for you. It's still fighting through the storms. And that’s worth appreciating.
Haven't you seen those old Chevy pick-up trucks that still run after being all rusted out? They may grumble when the engine starts, and they may be all beat up on the outside, but they are still running. And so are you.
Embrace the change. Aging is a luxury.
Cancer and its intensive treatments can bring a lot of changes to your body. Some are temporary, and some may stick around forever.
You may have been impacted by:
- Hair loss or changes in hair texture
- Scars from surgeries
- Weight fluctuations
- Skin changes
- Fatigue or decreased stamina
- Hormonal changes that impact everything from mood to metabolism
- Neuropathy or physical discomfort
- Changes in strength, mobility, or endurance
These changes can make it hard to recognize yourself. And it’s okay to grieve that. Let me say that again: it’s okay to grieve the body you once had.
You may never have the body you had before cancer, but guess what? Everyone ages? Even the Kardashian's of the world. But you, your body has been through something significant. Something you could not control. Something you did not choose.
Your body has fought for you. Your legs carried you to treatments, appointments, and moments you weren’t sure you could get through. You arms fed you when you were weak. Your eyes opened each morning to take in the sunlight, and shed tears when it was all too much. Your mouth allowed you to communicate, to yell, cry or laugh.
Even on the days when it feels different, or difficult, your body is still working for you. It simply kept going.
That counts.
You are stronger than what you see.
Healing isn’t linear and neither is accepting your body and all that has changed. There will be days when you feel strong and grateful, and others when you feel frustrated or disconnected.
Unfortunately, both are part of the process. And at 17-years post cancer treatment, I can say it only gets easier with time. And even all these years later, it still hits me sometimes.
Please give yourself permission to take it one day at a time and to meet your body where it is, instead of where you wish it was.
Your body is not just how it looks.
With or without breasts, ovaries, or anything you lost, you are still beautiful.
Hair or no hair, you are still stunning.
Visible scars or not, your body has been through a fight and you are stronger for it.
Loving your body after cancer doesn’t mean ignoring the changes. It means choosing compassion and patience to understand your body isn’t just something you see in the mirror.
It’s the reason you’re still here.
And that, in itself, is something pretty powerful.
Keep Fighting Pretty!
Kara Frazier is the founder and CEO of Fighting Pretty. Kara is a 17-year breast cancer survivor (Stage 3, Her2+. ER+, BRCA-) and underwent an explant surgery in 2020 after finding out her Allergan implants were recalled. She is a wife, new mom and stepmom. Kara is on a mission to help all women feel strong and beautiful - while battling cancer or not!
To learn more about Kara's story, click here.